[ it's not a yes, but she elaborates enough that he can abide it. caroline said the change had been recent in the dream, too, and if she woke up here shortly after, it's understandable that the time to puzzle out the finer details has eluded to her. ]
Then maybe I can help you figure it out.
[ more earnest this time, features softer. for all his coldness, fitz was empathic long before the bond sunk into his skin. he joined SHIELD to understand the strange science all around him — and help people. an uneasy deal with caroline can serve multiple purposes, like anything else. ]
[ but that hadn't been the deal, had it? he'd let her feed — something she needed, something she craved — in exchange for not dying. she'd try to answer his questions, if she could. but helping her discover answers to the rest, while certainly kind of him, wasn't something he'd agreed to.
and people didn't often do things for her out of the goodness of their heart, no matter how much caroline tried to be worth it.
stefan helped her learn to control her impulses out of a promise to elena, after all, not because he was particularly fond of her. bonnie made her a daylight ring because stefan convinced her to do it, not because she wanted caroline to have that freedom. fitz would be helping her, but she knew he'd be helping himself most.
she'd just have to make sure she made it worth his while. ]
[ it's hard to get a read on her, with how she's shifted across this conversation and the last, but this seems like a satisfactory resolution, on the whole. ]
I do. [ she's not the only one keen on being perceived as useful, after all. ] So that's settled. [ simply, as if it really is, with a tip of his head. he said he'd assist, so he will. ]
Can I do anything to help you for the moment? Or just before we reach the city?
[ seeing as she'd seemed... uneasy on the network, even if he can't quite understand her. ]
[ it's one thing to take someone's blood in a dream, when your mind knows you can just erase their memories, when you can make them cooperate. it's another thing altogether when people offer — and even now, with jason having given his wrists willingly on more than one occasion, caroline has a hard time recognizing that it's genuine. that it's not a trap, not someone luring her closer with a stake hidden behind their back.
but leo doesn't seem the type. he seems curious, interested, maybe a little in over his head in that regard, but not cruel. he's offering to help when he doesn't have to, without her having to ask for it, and she wants to take him up on that. ]
I can't — [ again, her fingers begin to twist around her index, a nervous tic she's picked up in the few weeks since her arrival ] I can't go outside. Not while the sun's out, anyway. And nobody knows if the windows have shades, or what New Tokyo is like...
[ so it's understandable, she thinks, that she's nervous. ]
Plus, you know. I'm hungry. I'm always hungry, but these pretzels aren't really doing it for me.
[ can't go out in the sun. it's so — old school, like a late night showing of dracula. he came from the night! but he doesn't let the passing thought amuse him, when the ramifications could be dire for her. ]
Okay, no sun. [ aloud 'cause it helps him think. he drags a hand across his jaw, visibly thoughtful. ] We're arriving at midday, so you'll want to move to the quiet car several back from this one. [ pin dropped to her as he says it. ] That has shades for sleeping passengers, but you should be alright, as the journey is strictly underwater until we hit the platform.
[ he shares a document of his notes on new tokyo, researched before peggy departed the first time, and augmented by her debriefing him upon waking and liaising with gaby and el on the phone. ]
New Tokyo is largely manmade, with transport dipping hundreds of feet underwater. [ a casual confidence in this. fitz excels when faced with a problem to solve. ] Reckon there'll be a direct underground connection from the train station to our destination at PRESERVE headquarters, though whether we can take it depends on the extent of the power outages. Regardless, it's likely there will be an above-ground walk from the underground station to the building. [ a beat. ] The blizzard should obscure the worst of the sunlight, but I'm not sure what your limits are. [ his eyes flicker over her, assessing. ] Would layers help? Could always pick up a brolly at the station, depending on the distance we're eyeing.
[ we, he says, not leaving her behind. he leans forward and holds her gaze, voice lowering. ]
And I've the ability to jump distances, as far as I can see, if it comes to that.
[ risky, to be sure, but with power outages across the city, CCTV will be down. and the extreme weather means minimal eyewitnesses, too. they can take the risk, if it means keeping her safe. ]
As for the issue of a, ah... snack. [ laugh track!! his mouth quirks, like he means to be reassuring but ends up sheepish instead. ] Would it be better if we sorted that now or closer to arrival? You know better than me.
[ and he has another half hour before he's due to meet cain and markus. ]
A brolly? [ it's a term she doesn't know, and one that doesn't totally make sense even in context. lift vs elevator she might have picked up, but brolly isn't so much a logical connection to umbrella. ] It's just bare skin. When I was first... you know, when I first woke up, I kept the shades closed in my hospital room and that was okay, but sun on my skin —
[ too vivid and recent a memory. caroline shakes her head, trying to hold back the wince. ]
I could try a big coat, maybe a scarf or a hat? Just while I'm out in the sun.
[ he says we, but she's uncertain if it's intentional or just out of habit. will he expect her to walk the way alone? or to follow the path? she knows rey is here, and rey had invited her into the last safehouse — but rey hadn't known why. still doesn't. she's been careful in her waking hours, if not in sleep. ]
Will you walk with me? Or meet me there? [ a beat. ] I can't go in alone. Someone has to invite me in.
[ it's — strange, in a way. unsettling. to so bluntly put all of these weaknesses and worries in front of him, without the reassurance of being able to wipe the slate of his memory clean should things go wrong later on. but she needs this, needs someone smart and capable and trustworthy to depend on to help her figure out the bits and pieces she's not experienced enough or clever enough to do on her own. she needs fitz, and so — she doesn't lean into the selfless part of his offer, even as generously given as it is. ]
I can wait. For a snack, I mean. I can wait. I'll let you know if it gets too bad, I promise. [ she pauses, teeth worrying at her lower lip. ] I just... you're already helping me.
[ and even if he weren't concerned about her or pleased that she's willing to share details with him (that others can trust fitz as he is now, no longer just an earnest engineer, matters to him more than he can say), the tidbit about having to be invited into buildings is worth it. by now, he knows she bit into poe dameron, too.
something to be addressed at a later time. fitz has to help her, first. already decided that was the priority. ]
I'll walk with you. And invite you in. [ calm and firm, emboldened by how she asks him directly. ] If you don't have a jacket, you can borrow mine. [ he'd woken up with it on his lap, as if he'd fallen asleep beside peggy carter while using it as a blanket. ] Could nick the rest, if needs be.
[ that she demurs his other offer surprises him, after his experience in the dream, but he simply regards her with the same knit features as before, more pensive than anything else. ]
I don't know how much privacy we'll get with PRESERVE, or how long our briefing will last once we're there. It'll be easy enough to pair off for work after that, but if you can't leave the dorms until nightfall...
[ the train's not much better, in truth, with all roads leading to them sneaking off to the loo or somewhere equally suspicious. ]
Suppose I'll come find you in the last hour of the journey, anyway. See how you're getting on, and we can make a call from there.
Okay. [ it's that simple. a weight off her shoulders, a crisis seemingly magically resolved by his own certainty and assured willingness to help her. he'll give her his jacket — not permanently, not the way malone had shrugged his own off his shoulders and draped it over hers, but for the time being — and he'll invite her in, he'll make sure she gets from point a to point b without bursting into flames.
it's more than caroline honestly thinks she deserves, especially after she'd been so aggressive in the dream they'd shared, practically demanding he let her tap his veins in the process. sure, she'd taken care of him afterwards, but she wouldn't have had to if she'd had better control.
guilt, insecurity, nerves — they threaten to capsize her, and for a moment, caroline only looks down at her hands, gently wringing together in her lap. ]
Are you just helping me because you're afraid of me?
[ she doesn't know what the answer is, but part of her knows what she hopes it's not. ]
[ Partially, yes, because he's afraid of what she'll do to him or others. 'Cause he doesn't know if he has a choice (no matter how unsure she seems now, he won't forget her behaviour in the dream). It's the smart move, too. A variable is more dangerous if left unattended. And if she burns in broad daylight, they're all made.
It's also the right thing to do, as an agent of SHIELD and Morningstar.
Ultimately, Fitz thinks too much for his reasoning to be condensed to a single factor. ]
No. [ a beat. ] Does it matter if I'm afraid of you?
[ but he is. he should be, because fear is a logical response to a monster, but caroline doesn't want fear to underline every interaction they have. maybe that's the difference between dreams and reality — awake, caroline remembers that it's not quite as dire as she'd felt in the dreams, not quite so desperate for a live body to snack on as she had felt then. awake, she remembers her own self-control, the tools she has at her disposal.
she takes a sip of her drink, and holds the bourbon in her mouth for a moment to savor the burn. ]
I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt anybody.
[ he tips his glass, watching the last of the liquid shift, before his eyes flash back to her. she'd said something similar in the dream — after she'd sunk her teeth in him and compelled him to let her feed.
after all this time, fitz is still fitz, so. ]
Then don't.
[ it's the same thing he said to ophelia. choose not to hurt anyone. choose love, not fear. choose empathy. ]
[ a bit of an extravagant promise when your physiology literally demands the sacrifice of human blood to continue on, but she means it. if there's any way to avoid hurting leo fitz, caroline will find it. even if it means sacrificing her own comfort in the process. he deserves that much.
he drains his drink, and she follows suit; the two empty glasses are then pushed aside, neatly stacked on the edge of their table as a signal to be swept away by whatever barkeep employ might do the task, and in the empty space they leave, caroline sets her hands, palms flat. ]
Do you want to meet me in the sleeping car, then? Before we get there?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Then maybe I can help you figure it out.
[ more earnest this time, features softer. for all his coldness, fitz was empathic long before the bond sunk into his skin. he joined SHIELD to understand the strange science all around him — and help people. an uneasy deal with caroline can serve multiple purposes, like anything else. ]
no subject
[ but that hadn't been the deal, had it? he'd let her feed — something she needed, something she craved — in exchange for not dying. she'd try to answer his questions, if she could. but helping her discover answers to the rest, while certainly kind of him, wasn't something he'd agreed to.
and people didn't often do things for her out of the goodness of their heart, no matter how much caroline tried to be worth it.
stefan helped her learn to control her impulses out of a promise to elena, after all, not because he was particularly fond of her. bonnie made her a daylight ring because stefan convinced her to do it, not because she wanted caroline to have that freedom. fitz would be helping her, but she knew he'd be helping himself most.
she'd just have to make sure she made it worth his while. ]
no subject
I do. [ she's not the only one keen on being perceived as useful, after all. ] So that's settled. [ simply, as if it really is, with a tip of his head. he said he'd assist, so he will. ]
Can I do anything to help you for the moment? Or just before we reach the city?
[ seeing as she'd seemed... uneasy on the network, even if he can't quite understand her. ]
no subject
but leo doesn't seem the type. he seems curious, interested, maybe a little in over his head in that regard, but not cruel. he's offering to help when he doesn't have to, without her having to ask for it, and she wants to take him up on that. ]
I can't — [ again, her fingers begin to twist around her index, a nervous tic she's picked up in the few weeks since her arrival ] I can't go outside. Not while the sun's out, anyway. And nobody knows if the windows have shades, or what New Tokyo is like...
[ so it's understandable, she thinks, that she's nervous. ]
Plus, you know. I'm hungry. I'm always hungry, but these pretzels aren't really doing it for me.
no subject
Okay, no sun. [ aloud 'cause it helps him think. he drags a hand across his jaw, visibly thoughtful. ] We're arriving at midday, so you'll want to move to the quiet car several back from this one. [ pin dropped to her as he says it. ] That has shades for sleeping passengers, but you should be alright, as the journey is strictly underwater until we hit the platform.
[ he shares a document of his notes on new tokyo, researched before peggy departed the first time, and augmented by her debriefing him upon waking and liaising with gaby and el on the phone. ]
New Tokyo is largely manmade, with transport dipping hundreds of feet underwater. [ a casual confidence in this. fitz excels when faced with a problem to solve. ] Reckon there'll be a direct underground connection from the train station to our destination at PRESERVE headquarters, though whether we can take it depends on the extent of the power outages. Regardless, it's likely there will be an above-ground walk from the underground station to the building. [ a beat. ] The blizzard should obscure the worst of the sunlight, but I'm not sure what your limits are. [ his eyes flicker over her, assessing. ] Would layers help? Could always pick up a brolly at the station, depending on the distance we're eyeing.
[ we, he says, not leaving her behind. he leans forward and holds her gaze, voice lowering. ]
And I've the ability to jump distances, as far as I can see, if it comes to that.
[ risky, to be sure, but with power outages across the city, CCTV will be down. and the extreme weather means minimal eyewitnesses, too. they can take the risk, if it means keeping her safe. ]
As for the issue of a, ah... snack. [ laugh track!! his mouth quirks, like he means to be reassuring but ends up sheepish instead. ] Would it be better if we sorted that now or closer to arrival? You know better than me.
[ and he has another half hour before he's due to meet cain and markus. ]
no subject
[ too vivid and recent a memory. caroline shakes her head, trying to hold back the wince. ]
I could try a big coat, maybe a scarf or a hat? Just while I'm out in the sun.
[ he says we, but she's uncertain if it's intentional or just out of habit. will he expect her to walk the way alone? or to follow the path? she knows rey is here, and rey had invited her into the last safehouse — but rey hadn't known why. still doesn't. she's been careful in her waking hours, if not in sleep. ]
Will you walk with me? Or meet me there? [ a beat. ] I can't go in alone. Someone has to invite me in.
[ it's — strange, in a way. unsettling. to so bluntly put all of these weaknesses and worries in front of him, without the reassurance of being able to wipe the slate of his memory clean should things go wrong later on. but she needs this, needs someone smart and capable and trustworthy to depend on to help her figure out the bits and pieces she's not experienced enough or clever enough to do on her own. she needs fitz, and so — she doesn't lean into the selfless part of his offer, even as generously given as it is. ]
I can wait. For a snack, I mean. I can wait. I'll let you know if it gets too bad, I promise. [ she pauses, teeth worrying at her lower lip. ] I just... you're already helping me.
no subject
something to be addressed at a later time. fitz has to help her, first. already decided that was the priority. ]
I'll walk with you. And invite you in. [ calm and firm, emboldened by how she asks him directly. ] If you don't have a jacket, you can borrow mine. [ he'd woken up with it on his lap, as if he'd fallen asleep beside peggy carter while using it as a blanket. ] Could nick the rest, if needs be.
[ that she demurs his other offer surprises him, after his experience in the dream, but he simply regards her with the same knit features as before, more pensive than anything else. ]
I don't know how much privacy we'll get with PRESERVE, or how long our briefing will last once we're there. It'll be easy enough to pair off for work after that, but if you can't leave the dorms until nightfall...
[ the train's not much better, in truth, with all roads leading to them sneaking off to the loo or somewhere equally suspicious. ]
Suppose I'll come find you in the last hour of the journey, anyway. See how you're getting on, and we can make a call from there.
no subject
it's more than caroline honestly thinks she deserves, especially after she'd been so aggressive in the dream they'd shared, practically demanding he let her tap his veins in the process. sure, she'd taken care of him afterwards, but she wouldn't have had to if she'd had better control.
guilt, insecurity, nerves — they threaten to capsize her, and for a moment, caroline only looks down at her hands, gently wringing together in her lap. ]
Are you just helping me because you're afraid of me?
[ she doesn't know what the answer is, but part of her knows what she hopes it's not. ]
no subject
It's also the right thing to do, as an agent of SHIELD and Morningstar.
Ultimately, Fitz thinks too much for his reasoning to be condensed to a single factor. ]
No. [ a beat. ] Does it matter if I'm afraid of you?
no subject
[ but he is. he should be, because fear is a logical response to a monster, but caroline doesn't want fear to underline every interaction they have. maybe that's the difference between dreams and reality — awake, caroline remembers that it's not quite as dire as she'd felt in the dreams, not quite so desperate for a live body to snack on as she had felt then. awake, she remembers her own self-control, the tools she has at her disposal.
she takes a sip of her drink, and holds the bourbon in her mouth for a moment to savor the burn. ]
I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt anybody.
no subject
after all this time, fitz is still fitz, so. ]
Then don't.
[ it's the same thing he said to ophelia. choose not to hurt anyone. choose love, not fear. choose empathy. ]
And I won't be.
[ second chances are very in right now. ]
no subject
[ a bit of an extravagant promise when your physiology literally demands the sacrifice of human blood to continue on, but she means it. if there's any way to avoid hurting leo fitz, caroline will find it. even if it means sacrificing her own comfort in the process. he deserves that much.
he drains his drink, and she follows suit; the two empty glasses are then pushed aside, neatly stacked on the edge of their table as a signal to be swept away by whatever barkeep employ might do the task, and in the empty space they leave, caroline sets her hands, palms flat. ]
Do you want to meet me in the sleeping car, then? Before we get there?
no subject
[ a little nod, then, accepting (if not yet fully trusting) her promise. it's enough for now — has to be. ]
Yeah. [ he stands. ] See you in a bit, Caroline.