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[gasping]

@caroline.forbes | ■ ▲ ◌ ▼

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[gasping]

wait
what are you using the curtains for?
are you trying to make a costume??

[ you're like... eleven months early for halloween ]

[kleptocratic]

Do I seem like the sort of person who would wear a curtain?

[gasping]

people have worn way uglier things at toga parties, okay

[ you didn't answer her question ]

[kleptocratic]

Of course they have because togas are awful and even the invaders got tired of wearing them.

I meant for this to go to Clarke. She's my roommate. She put me in charge of decoration because she's decided I'm picky.

[gasping]

she decided?
are you trying to say you're not picky?

[ sounds fake. ]

what color are the curtains, anyway?

[kleptocratic]

I'm pointedly not commenting, obviously.

Sort of a purple.

[gasping]

instead you're just commenting about not commenting
okay

i hope they aren't mauve
mauve is the worst purple. well, after puce. that's pretty bad too.

[kleptocratic]

Only because you commented.

You know mauve is very expensive where I'm from because the dye is so costly to produce.

[gasping]

they should save their money and stop making it then
blue is much nicer

[kleptocratic]

But then how will people know that they're rich?

[gasping]

[ she almost asks 'who cares' but then caroline remembers that everyone cares. ]

jewelry? nice cars? new phones?
they could also just tell people "hey, i'm rich"

[kleptocratic]

That would be very unsubtle.
We don't have cars or phones. Didn't? I'm not sure what the grammar would be.

[gasping]

well, at least nobody ever got weirdly obsessed with candy crush
is being subtle important? if you want everyone to know you're rich, i don't get why you wouldn't just tell them

[kleptocratic]

I believe that's considered gauche. True wealth doesn't need to be announced, except in the ways that it obviously does.

What's candy crush?

[gasping]

[ ????????????? ]

that's the stupidest thing i've ever heard. why does it need to be a big thing? i mean, unless you're lying.
i knew a girl in the eighth grade who pretended like her family was super rich, but all of her purses were total knockoffs. it's chanel, not channel. we're not dumb.

it's a game. you match candies on the screen and they explode or something. i never played it.

[kleptocratic]

My father isn't poor and he wears the same black tunic every day. I think his closet is a line of identical boring black tunics.

Why would you want them to explode? That doesn't make sense.

[gasping]

ugh
my mom did that too but it was with her sheriff outfits. at least that's supposed to be boring.

they're not real candy, you know? it's just a game

[kleptocratic]

Ah yes, there's nothing quite so tedious as the law. Though of course I'd say that, I was the court thief.

I should say, I could think of some interesting things to do with exploding candy.

[gasping]

okay, but you can't just say "interesting things" and not actually say what they are!

[ spill the beans ]

[kleptocratic]

It's an obvious assassination mechanism, and probably difficult to trace. Messy, though. [ And he hates violence and killing, so… ]

I was thinking more of breaking and entering, which I usually am. Small and easily concealed explosives would be very handy.

Also fairly useful for redecorating.

[gasping]

you should meet my friend jyn
she stole a house here and didn't even break the lock

[ that's enough for a friendship, right? both being thieves? caroline thinks so. ]

[kleptocratic]

I hope not. If you break the lock anyone can steal the house back.

[gasping]

couldn't you just change the lock?

[kleptocratic]

In theory, but I'm a thief and not a locksmith.

[ He can't actually work very many locks at all here because they're cybernetic and not mechanical, whoops. ]

[gasping]

maybe you should get a job here as a locksmith, and then you would be able to open all the doors

[ a practical suggestion. ]