Hey, does it really matter if the phone did what it needed to do? [ not that he'd had a flip phone but if it had been the only thing available, he would have used it until it died or someone stomped on it or shot it or it burned or...any number of other things that might happen to it. ]

Pageants and homecoming parades, huh? [ sounds nice. almost normal. ] That does sound pretty cool.

[ could you tell he wasn't much of a pageant or homecoming guy? but his needling was light. ]

I don't know if you're going to find anything like that here.